| The Real World |
| by Dimitrios V. Doris |
In writing this paper to my fellow friends and readers, I am explaining my life and beliefs that I have experienced and what might happen in the future. I know that in explaining my story I am boiling in hot water and I feel the heat coming on to me because I’m telling the people of my surrounding area the truth that lies beneath all Americans. All the consequences, positives, negatives and fun times are in this story. In some parts of the story, I feel guilty and sad about what I did but, good about other parts.
I was born in a small village in Egypt. I cannot remember my few young years because I am old, but I can recall we were in poor conditions. Living in poor conditions usually never leaves one’s mind. When growing up, I lived with my mother, father and two older brothers in a small house. Growing up in Egypt was hard due to the lack of money, food, and transportation. My mother and father would work endless hours everyday on their farms on a village the next town over. I would go to my cousin’s house until my parents were done with work and then my mother would come pick me up. Some days my mother would stay home with me and take care of me. I rarely saw my father as much as I saw my mother. Some days when my mother would stay home, she would teach me to clean around the house and some days take me to the farm so I can learn the trade like my father.
When I was five years old, I started elementary school amongst other children in the village. This experience was fun compared to the experience I found in America.
All the kids were nice to me and I made plenty of friends. After a normal school day, I would go home and change into my work clothes because I worked on the farm for three hours a day. At the farm, I would pick cotton balls, tomatoes, cucumbers, and eggplants. After work, I came home to do school work for the next day. This was a daily routine until I was twelve. Since I did not attend school after elementary school, I worked on the farms until I was eighteen doing the same tasks plus watering the crops and some deliveries to the villages next to the farms.
After, when I turned eighteen I was looking for a job in the city of Cairo. I wanted to work in an office with a suit and tie so, I could be acknowledged as an important employee. I would have liked to work as a secretary or as an assistant to a lawyer or whoever. I applied to a lawyer’s office and doctor’s office for secretarial positions and also as an assistant to the lawyer’s office. Days, weeks, and months passed and no phone calls. I guess that due to the fact that I only attended elementary school and did not attend high school I was not acknowledged as being educated or important to these firms. Realizing that a high school diploma was important did not help me because I did not attend high school to receive one. Even working on my parents’ farm did not help me get the job I wanted. Suddenly, I thought it was time to make up my mind on what I was going to do because my mother and father were getting old.
From eighteen to twenty-five, I continued working on the farm. When I reached twenty-five, I decided to take a risk and go to the United States. My parents and brothers disapproved of this choice, but I did not care. My mother said, “You are not going anywhere, you must stay here.” My father responded by saying, “Don’t you dare think about leaving us to go to America!” I needed something different. My emotions were mixed and my feelings were on the good side and the bad side.
Here it was September of 1977. I arrived at John F. Kennedy International Airport. I had no citizenship or anything. I came to America as a visitor. Personal items that I only had were one briefcase full of clothes, some belongings and some money. As soon as I walked through the gates people were looking at me and most definitely saying to themselves, “Who is he?” I had no one at the gate waiting for me. I walked outside and tried to flag down a taxi. Everyone was passing me up until one stopped. I got in and I saw his name and realized that he might have been Egyptian from his name. I asked him and he said that he was. We started talking in our language and he told me where to go and what to do. He told me to go to New Jersey and find a job at a local restaurant. He offered me a place to stay at his apartment near Newark, New Jersey.
During one of his days off he took me to a fast food restaurant and here I made my first attempt to get a job. We both walked in and I asked for the manager.
When he came up to me he looked at me in a strange way along with his employees. I asked him, “Are you hiring? If you are, I would like to receive a job.” He wanted to learn a little bit of my background and I told him. I told him I came from Egypt from a poor family looking for a new starting point. He said to write down my name and address and when I wrote them down he told me that he would get back to me within a week.
A week went by and it was time to find out. The manager called me and said that I could start tomorrow. I went to work not knowing how to do the trade that well. As soon as I walked in the back door my fellow employees gave me a look as if, to say, “Who is he? or What is he doing here?” I felt that I did not belong there. I was the only one there who had darker color skin. I was the one who did not fit in. The manager introduced me to everyone. Most workers were Italian, Portuguese, and Bosnian. One Bosnia guy helped me out in learning the trade. Day after day I learned and thought to myself that it was a good job to start off, with given that in light of my recent arrival to America. After a couple of months the manager gave me a raise. Everything at work was going well until one day when one of the Italians and I began to argue about whose nationality and culture was better. The argument was an innocent conversation until we just got too in depth. I told the Italian that the Egyptians created many of the inventions that we use today and that we were better suited in living in the world. The Italian argued against me saying that the Egyptians were still lost in the Old World and will never live in the New World. Our voices raised and the customers were looking at us in disbelief. The manager pulled us aside and asked us individually what happened. Afterward, when this was done, the manager asked me to leave the job. He said, “You must leave because I believe it was your fault and I do not tolerate negative behavior in my restaurant.” To me I thought it was pure discrimination and unfairness. Therefore, I left and went looking again.
This time I found another very similar job and was hired right away. The employees in here were also of the same race and the restaurant also included some Greek employees. Everything was good here. The only thing I did not have was citizenship. I asked my boss on how to obtain a green card and he said that he would help me. Time proceeded and finally I received my green card. As soon as I received my green card, I realized that I was getting old and I wanted to get married.
Therefore, I needed to take a leave of absence to go to Egypt to get married. I left and went back home.
When I arrived in Egypt, everything was beautiful. There were some new changes in the physical appearance of Egypt, but I liked the atmosphere. Some changes included new houses, apartment buildings and parks. My parents and brothers saw me and greeted me with open arms. As soon as my mother saw me she said, “My child where have you been so long in that country?” She asked how I was doing and I told her that I was fine but I described to her America. “Mother, America does not seem to be exactly what people project it to be from here. There is discrimination and not a whole lot of fun there if you’re not pure white.” She was shocked but then again I think she knew this could have happened because she saw discrimination in Egypt when someone of other race came to visit Egypt. A week later, I was introduced to a lovely lady and we went out on a date. We had so much fun, that we started to go out every night and we fell in love with each other. I proposed to her one night when both of our families went out to dinner and she accepted my proposal. A week later, I married my wife to be. Before I had to leave for America, she became pregnant. I left for America and after about a year my daughter was born and she and my wife came to America.
When I returned to work before my wife came with my daughter to America something did not seem the same. Many employees gave me a look and said, “We don’t need you.” One asked, “What are you doing here?” My family and I stayed in the small apartment in Newark with my other friend until I found a place for my family.
As work progressed day by day at the restaurant, I was discussing religion and culture with one of the Greek employees. The conversation started off well until we started to make fun at each other, but I was the one getting laughed at. Such remarks were, “Go back to Egypt with your camels,” “Egyptians are so uneducated and underdeveloped.” Then we started to curse at each other in our own languages, but I will not tell you what we said. You (the reader) could figure it out. Well, that day of work did not end well. After the argument, I was being told by the manager what to do left and right. Everything was, (I will use an anonymous name) Shaban do this, Shaban do that. I became so sick of it that night that I told off the manager. It was not fair because he made me do everything. He didn’t even tell one of the others who were “White,” such as the Greeks or Italians to do anything. He then told me to go home. I came the next day to work. The feeling that I received and still do among everyone at work and customers is that they like me and they don’t like me. I just don’t understand them. I feel that I am being teased or laughed at for some reason.
I was in a state of depression for about a month. During this month, I was a different person. One night, I went home and my wife aggravated me by saying I should change the diapers on my daughter and that I am never home. I could not stand it anymore, so I started to abuse her. Immediately after this incident, the neighbors downstairs heard the argument and they called the cops. The cops came and arrested me. They treated me like I murdered nine people. They were unbelievable. I mean I can understand being abused so I can get into the handcuffs, but it was taken to another level. I started to resist arrest and then the cops started to beat me with their sticks and kick me until I was on the ground and could not move. I was taken away and at this moment I started to think about my life. I was put on probation, and released from jail. After being released, I thought about what I did and I knew it was time for a change.
Two months went by and it was September of 2001. When the September 11 attacks happened on the World Trade Centers, the employees discouraged my appearance at work a couple of days later. They were saying things like, “Were they your brothers on the planes?” “What are you doing here?, you should have been the captain,” “Hello this is your new captain taking over Shaban. Please be prepared for a fun ride.” Such remarks abused me mentally. These people do not know what it is like to get abused because they have the white clear skin while I was not of the dominant race with non white skin. This in turn made me mad and say things back to them. Such things are too explicit to state here. Picture yourself in my shoes and imagine what you would do. After things cooled down here in the tri-state area, my wife and daughter went back to Egypt in the beginning of December so she could see her parents. I went in January 2002 also to see my parents and returned in April. My wife became pregnant again and I was expecting a son this time.
The only thing left for me to do was work, work and work. I pulled in some money and sent it to Egypt to my wife because she had to provide my children with food clothing and necessities. The abuse at the restaurant was the same most of the days if not all of them. Everyday I would walk to work and some days I would be late. Those days that I was late I was yelled at like I was an object. That offended me. No one should be yelled at as often as I was. And you know what the funny part was. When the boss’s kids were working there and they came late, they were never yelled at or said anything to by the manager. I did not take that abuse and one day I told the manager and his response was, “I don’t care what the others do, I want you here on time.” Can you believe this guy said that to me only? Days and days went on and I had to leave for Egypt yet again for another adventure. I went to go see my son. I left for Egypt in June and came back to America with my family in late August.
I moved out of the old apartment with my family into an apartment of better standards for the four of us. The only things left for me to do was work and make a living. My wife could not work because she had to watch our kids. The discrimination at work became limited but when there was discrimination at work, it was focused on me only because I was the only person who was not completely white. As to portray future events, I could only imagine things being the same and not getting any harsher. Now that I have children, maybe the hate and discrimination will die down a little because I have responsibility but if it does not, I really don’t care. You know why, because I am who I am and I will do as I like in life. I love myself and my family and that is all that counts.